I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
