i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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