Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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