i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
