i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
