so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize