is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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