you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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