I must be too annoying 4 u.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
