Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
