Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
