Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize