I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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