Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize