He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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