the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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