CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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