Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
