Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Everything about him screamed your future.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
