Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize