I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
