My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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