If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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