I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
