You work out of a Hotel?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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