I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
