I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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