I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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