so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
