Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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