he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
