please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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