Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
