Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
