How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
