OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
