Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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