she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
