Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
