The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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