Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
