Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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