I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
