very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
