No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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