Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
