i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
