Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize