Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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