i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
