i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
