I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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