dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
