How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
