Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Randomize
