Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize