Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
