And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
