But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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