shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
