STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
