they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
