Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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